Ok, so every-so-often I get the urge to write something that's... more personal, and beyond the normal laundry list of the things I've done. This is one of those posts.
Ok, the last time I tried to write about Conley and tried to make it funny, it just wasn't there. And I've been kicking myself ever since trying to figure out why. BUT, instead of fighting it, I'm going to attempt a Conley-post that is both poignant and heart-warming.
Ok, here goes.
It's not a secret that I... can be a little emotionally unstable at times. I'm fairly open with the fact that I was suicidal last year, (yes, abby) and I've accepted the fact that I'm probably clinically depressed. I've never been to a doctor or anything to get checked, but I'm pretty sure. Plus it runs in my family. As anybody knows, depression gets worse with things like: stress, lack of sleep, loads and loads of work, winter, etc. etc.
As things stand right now, I've got a bunch of that happening. Here's where Conley comes in. As anyone could/would tell you from last year, like Sam or Abby, when I get depressed I get ideas that my friends don't want me around. It's not conscious or anything, but some point that sticks out or some comment is taken the wrong way, that stays in the back of my mind. It happens. I like to say that it's not MY fault, but, to be fair, my friends are nothing but excellent to me.
I promise Conley is coming in soon...
Ok, so when this happens I disengage myself from my friends and turn into a lonely bundle of nerves. This is where Sam and Abby helped me last year. I would get to that point, and they would keep me engaged, forcibly in some situations. It was good for me, and it kept me from that downward spiral of depression. Ok, so NOW, Sam and Abby are gone. Guess who fills those shoes?
Conley.
It's his never-questioning friendship and engaging attitude that keeps me sane, up in here. Like if I'm sick (like tonight) or late for dinner, or anything, Conley takes the time to make sure that I'm alright and he reaffirms my faith in... friends. I guess. I don't mean to make this sound like I've got some major problem, or that things would/should be any different, but I just wanted to acknowledge what he does for me.
It's not just him, either. Greg and Connor and Alix, and pretty much everyone on the floor keeps me engaged. I blame it on the proximity in which we live, I guess. Plus they're all great people.
Anyways, my point furthers. I would submit that the reason I couldn't write a mocking description of Conley very well is, A, because he's helping me with this without even knowing it, and that 2, he's in a position of respect-- as a floor fellow.
This is not to say that he treats me any differently than anyone else on the floor or any of his other friends, but that's just the remarkable part. Conley is an incredible guy who treats everyone with respect and love without any extra effort. I can't make fun of that. This is deffinitely where I reaffirm that he's a great floor-fellow, and should stick with it, to help those other froshies like me.
So wipe your tears and smile, because I think I'll be alright.
Oh, and Conley, I didn't mean to be all forward and whatever with telling this, I just wanted to explain why I can't make fun of you in here. Also, I don't want anything to be different at all, not that it ever would be, but... now you know.
